I like funny videos as much as the next person. Well, maybe a wee bit more. But I realize that just because I think something’s funny doesn’t mean you’re going to think it’s funny too. You should, but you haven’t quite embraced my whole line of fascinating, facetious, fabulous, frivolous, fluffy, flawless, foxy, frank, and fiendishly fun Fiona-isms. Don’t worry; you’ll get there.
Let’s dive into the Sunday night old chestnut, “America’s Funniest Home Videos.” First off, I’ve always referred to it as the show where “Americans like to laugh at old people falling over things, men getting swift kicks in the nads, and teenagers breaking tables to record themselves dancing the latest TikTok virus.” Actually, my real name for it would offend a large population of people based on me being unbelievably judgey and assuming the audience has certain political, religious and world views; be of a certain IQ range; and they all dress in a certain style with the same bad haircuts as one another. Think Ellie Kemper in The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
The Not-So-Funny Side:
Now, let’s set a few things straight. People doing any of the following really aren’t that funny, which is different than saying, “Oh, they asked for that.”
1. Seniors in Virtual Reality:
Anything that makes fun of seniors looking like they’re about to meet their doom isn’t comedy gold. I mean, why would you think it’s a good idea to put virtual reality goggles on your grandmother and let her wander around the house fighting goblins? Just… why?
2. Sledding Mishaps:
People sledding down hills who don’t know when to bail out when there’s an obstacle right in front of them, like a wall, are more cringe-worthy than hilarious. Roll off the sled, damnit; it’ll hurt less than the cinderblock retaining wall you’re about to hit, breaking your ankle.
3. Sled Collisions:
And speaking of sledding, those collisions, especially with adults and children and pets, aren’t exactly side-splitting. Just to be clear, the adults are the problem, NOT the kids or pets. If you’re an adult and you run into a tree, you probably weren’t being safe from the start, and you’re certainly not setting any good examples.
4. Rope Swing Regrets:
Rope swings sound like a blast, but not when you forget rule one: if it’s over water and you’re supposed to let go of the rope and drop into the water, then let go of the bloody rope! Otherwise, you’ll hurt yourself and potentially reveal more than you’d like when you come crashing home and your clothes are ripped away. Rule two: if the branch breaks, well, you’re shit out of luck, my friend.
And yet, my trifecta:
Sadly, I could go on and on, but four examples are more than enough. So what makes a funny video to me? Cats, dogs, and babies. That’s the trifecta.
So there you have it, my snarky take on “America’s Funniest Home Videos.” While others might laugh at granddad slipping on a banana peel, I’ll stick to my furry and pint-sized friends for a good chuckle. After all, in the world of hilarity, cats, dogs, and babies truly rule the screen.
Sarcasm and Sanity 
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