Sarcasm and Sanity

For some, the holiday season can bring feelings of sadness and loneliness. In this blog post, I will share a personal story of Christmas sadness and offer suggestions on how to beat the Christmas blues.
Please remember, you are not alone, and there is support available.
I’m one of those people who gets really sad at Christmas. The last time my father was at Ormond, home, was Christmas Day 2005. He died 2 Jan. 2006.

But my Christmas sadness started long before that. We lived in Canada then, but my sister lived in Lynchburg, Virginia where she had graduated from Randolph-Macon Woman’s College the May before.

She was working in Lynchburg but wouldn’t be coming home for Christmas. I love my family, but I missed my sister like no one’s business. That Christmas made me sad. I really wanted to see my sister.

Christmas Eve the same year, my father had already had two Christmas Eve services and he was at home resting and getting ready for Midnight Mass. Around 7 p.m., I looked out the living room window and saw that the snow had picked up and the roads were bare to center bare. Driving would be dicey.

While I was standing there watching the colors from the Christmas lights bounce with the wind, the doorbell rang. I ran to the door as fast as a sprite. I just knew it was going to be my sister. I saw it happen all the time on TV, so it had to be her, right?

It wasn’t.

Instead it was a woman with two very cold and grubby looking kids, without hats on, standing behind her. They each took a side and were cautiously looking around a hip, to see what I was doing. The woman was wearing a camels hair coat with so many holes, it was practically ineffective.

She didn’t need to ask. I knew why she was there. She asked anyway. “My children and I don’t have anything to eat or a warm and safe place to stay tonight, can you help, please?”

Stupidly, I forgot to do the nice thing and invite her into the front hall, but I told her I’d get my father. Daddy came out and stepped out on the porch. I don’t know what was said, but I know the woman and her children had a room to stay at a local hotel and food to eat. My mother would make a “supply” bag for them to take with them, too.

While that story ended positively, I spiraled into a sadness I was unfamiliar with. One I had only felt when someone died. This woman and her children didn’t have anything like me, didn’t live like me or anything remotely close to what was my “normal” and I’d never been around anyone like that.

Meeting this woman and her children opened my eyes to a world I, for so many years, was lucky, to know didn’t exist.

I felt horrible and guilty that I was naive enough not to know there were the “haves” and “have nots” and that I was a have. Everyone should be a have and I didn’t understand why there were have nots.

But I was too young to truly understand any of it and I was sad they weren’t going to have a Christmas like mine. Was that too much to ask? That their Christmas be as nice as my Christmas?

Christmases following that were hit or miss for me. I think I hid my depression as best I could, only to have it intensify in my 20s and 30s.

2023 has been a really shitty year, but it’s the first year since my father died that I’ve been able to listen to Christmas music. (I did spend one Christmas listening to Angela Lansbury as Auntie Mame singing, “We Need a Little Christmas,” but almost crying every time I’d hear her belt out, “for I’ve grown a little leaner, grown a little colder, grown a little sadder, grown a little older. And I need a little angel sitting on my shoulder I need a little Christmas now.” Put your hand up if you’ve done any or all of that before.

Christmas is tough for lots of people. Don’t get me wrong, my Christmas will be nice, but there are a lot of memories hard for me to ditch. I think Christmas is a more reflective time for me.

A couple of suggestions to help you get through the holidays:

Feeling the Christmas blues is a common experience for many people. Here are some helpful ways to beat the Christmas blues:

• Connect with loved ones: Reach out to family and friends and make plans to spend time together. It may help uplift your spirits and remind you of the joy of the holiday season.

• Take care of yourself: Don’t forget about YOU. It’s important to prioritize self-care during the holiday season. Engage in activities such as exercise, meditation, reading, or pursuing hobbies. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being can help combat the blues.
• Create new traditions: Consider starting new traditions. These can be simple activities giving you an opportunity to reinvent the holiday experience and make it your own.
• Embrace simplicity: The pressure to meet certain expectations during the holidays can contribute to feelings of stress and sadness. Instead, focus on the simple delights of the season. Enjoy homemade meals, decorations, cozy, quiet evenings, or any other activities that bring you happiness.
• Seek support: If the Christmas blues persist or become overwhelming, consider seeking support from a mental health professional or support groups. They can provide guidance and strategies to help navigate difficult emotions during the holiday season.

Remember, it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions during this time of year. By using some of these suggestions and seeking support when needed, you can help beat the Christmas blues and make the most of the holiday season.

Wishing a Happy Christmas and a wonderful 2024 to all!

If you or someone you know is grappling with mental health challenges, experiencing thoughts of self-harm, or feeling suicidal, remember you are not alone. Reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by text or calling at 988, chat with them securely at 988lifeline.org; the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK, or text “HELLO” to 741741 with the Crisis Text Line. Additional resources are available at https://www.mhanational.org/. Remember, seeking help is a testament to strength, and caring listeners are ready to lend their support.